then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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