this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
