THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
