Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
