I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
