I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
