I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
