Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
