Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
