i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
