Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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