Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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