meet me or not, i'm out of control
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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