You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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