i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
