Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
