He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
being pregnant is like rehab
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
