Sponge bath it is.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize