you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
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truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
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I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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