You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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