It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
