i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
