i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
