I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
