Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
