Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
