Fuck appropriateness.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
