Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
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Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
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HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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