i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
