it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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