We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
