found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
