Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize