im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize