I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
