Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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