he thought i was a dude.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
