Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
