Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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