shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
