He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
