but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
