so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
