i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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