we made out on top of his cat.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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