you're like a bully in the Christmas story
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
