I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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