we're chasing vodka with high fives
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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