he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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