The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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