Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
