Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
