If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
