Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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