You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
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I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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