Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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