therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
