i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize