in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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