I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
don't judge my taste in strippers
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
